whenever, wherever...

Could you imagine if in fact my hips couldn't actually lie?  Like after the meat loaf mother made you eat for 14 years of your young adult life there came muffled sounds from your under carriage.  Like the peanut's character's parents decided to burn the tree instead of decorating it.  You could never get a moments peace.  While you attempted to sleep your hips just droaned on and on about the economy and our government and the fat German teacher that thinks may have an obsession with the boys on the third floor of his apartment building.  Heaven forbid you had a one night stand over...the secrets being tweeted the next day about your small indiscretions bellow the belt would be in the thousands.  We would need to think of ways to shut our hips up.  There would need to be some sort of burn cream associated with the gyno.  There would be a boom of hip replacements for all ages.  A new hip knows nothing of it's brand new host.  Can't spill beans you never knew were there in the first place.  Although, depending on what we used for the new hip the non-lies coming from under your unmentionables may be more embarrassing than the actual truths of yours.  The mistaken shout-outs of someone's other could be more of a shock than your own skeletons. 

I have always wished that we as humans would develope a tick that every once in a while our brains would spasm and we would involuntarily burst into a narrative of what we were doing at that precise moment.  While walking down the street next to someone carrying a tennis racket and balls we would over hear them saying he was walking down the street carrying a tennis racket and balls.  The hips not lying could be an evolutionary step forward from that spasm.  Our brains would wire themselves completely lie-less.  For you cannot narratively tell a lie.  You would have to give away the fact you were telling the lie and therefore would in fact be not telling one.  It's the catch-22's in life that truly keep us honest.  Now turn the pillow over to cool your cheek and dutch oven the one you love.