I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart!

I am going to throw all my clothes away besides the ones that don't actually fit me.  I think that may motivate me to get up and shed off these few extra pounds.  Going into work with a suit coat that doesn't button and the sleeves are about to burst open like Ooggie-Boogie Man may in fact highten the cause for a flatter stomach!  Not to mention the freaking amazing looking boy I just saw at the gym...so hot!  He is a good motivator as well.  At least he motivates me to wear a thicker work out pant.  Those light cotton shorts are a dead give away while I'm sweating to the oldies staring at him.  If Jana needed an extra tent on her travels I'd have one for her!  The catch-22 is that working out in jeans is a bit painful!  Plus, the denim sliding up against the flesh leaves me chaffed and sticky!  I may have to start wearing undies or a condom to catch the yum-yum platter that is my jolly juice!  Not sure how I got off track...

My sister is running in a 5K this Sunday, is it?  She is gonna kill me.  I have no memory for things of any nature and can't seem to Spongebob Square Pants it up in there.  I believe it is Sunday.  Anyway, she will be a hot mess after and I took the whole day off.  I was hoping we could spend it downtown, seeing as we will beat the sun there, we will have the whole rest of the day.  Unfortunatly the bitch sweats like a mutha fucka!!! Loaf yea, girl, but you do!  I do too for that matter, but we aint talkin about me running.  So the day will be lost to her glands becoming less smelly and more dry.  Oh, well.  We'll just have to do something around home, like always!  Or we could stop being lazy asses and just go back downtown...there's a thought.  I could just throw the stank in the river and set her a blaze.  That should clean-er right up! 

All-in-all, the blades from a helicopter would do just fine against Scarlett Johansson's left cheek.  Quick and hopefully full of agonizing pain!  HATE THAT BITCH!!